There is an important distinction that must be made between signs and symbols, particularly within the realms of grief, mediumship, and the psyche.
At first glance, they may appear similar. Both seem to point beyond themselves. Both can carry meaning. But psychologically — and relationally — they function very differently.
The External Nature of Signs
“What we are witnessing here is not connection, but desperation — a psyche trying to orient itself in the face of something it cannot yet integrate.”
A sign often belongs to the external world. It is something we look for, interpret, and assign meaning to. In states of grief, especially when loss is raw and disorienting, the psyche can begin to search outwardly for reassurance.
This can sometimes become a kind of scanning of reality — where everything begins to feel like it might be a sign, or conversely, where the absence of signs can feel like abandonment.
Where the Danger Can Emerge
This is where the danger can quietly emerge.
When someone is in deep grief, there can be a pendulum effect. On one side, everything becomes meaningful — every bird, every number, every flicker of light. On the other, nothing is received — and this absence can be interpreted as they are not here, they are not connecting, they don’t love me. Both positions can keep a person suspended in grief, unable to fully metabolise the loss.
What we are witnessing here is not connection, but desperation — a psyche trying to orient itself in the face of something it cannot yet integrate.
The Different Order of Symbol
A symbol, however, belongs to a different order.
A symbol arises from within the psyche and meets us in a way that is relational, precise, and deeply meaningful. It is not something we chase. It is something that arrives — often unexpectedly, yet with an unmistakable sense of inner recognition.
“The symbol did not pull me away from my grief. It met me within it.”
A Personal Example
This may not sound familiar to everyone, so perhaps I may offer a personal example.
When my father was passing away, I felt profoundly helpless. It was during Covid, in 2022, and I had a six-month-old baby. I could not leave to go to Serbia to be with him. There I was — between new motherhood, physical distance, and the reality of losing him. I felt powerless in the face of his suffering, and in my grief I had to find another way to relate to him. I needed to know he was safe.
During his transition, he was in great pain. I could not speak with him, but inwardly I found a way to impress something simple upon his psyche. I said: Dad, please let me know when you have safely arrived on the other side with a rainbow.
Not Just Any Sign
What was taking place here matters. I was not asking for just any sign. I was not scanning the external world in hope or desperation. I was entering into an inner dialogue and requesting a symbol — something specific, relational, and meaningful between us.
One day later, the weather was miserable and rainy. I had to drive that morning, and as I was crossing a familiar roundabout, out of nowhere, a vast rainbow formed directly in front of me.
In that moment, there was no doubt.
With every ounce of my being, I knew it was my father confirming that he had arrived safely — that he had passed through, that he was well.
I smiled. I cried. I thanked him.
How Symbol Meets Grief
What moved through me was not urgency, not searching, not fragmentation. It was relief. It was love. It was a deep settling.
The symbol did not pull me away from my grief. It met me within it. It allowed something to land — something that words could not provide — and in doing so, it supported the natural unfolding of grief rather than prolonging it.
“True connection resides not in the constant search for signs in the outer world, but in the symbolic life that continues to unfold within.”
Why the Distinction Matters
This is why the distinction matters so deeply.
When we remain only in the realm of signs, we can become externally oriented, dependent on the environment to regulate something internal. But when we begin to relate symbolically, we enter into a deeper dialogue with the psyche — and with the loved one as it is held within us.
This is not about dismissing connection. Quite the opposite.
It is about refining it.
It is about allowing connection to take place in a way that is psychologically integrative rather than destabilising.
The Symbolic Life Within
Working inwardly — through dreams, image, feeling, memory, and symbol — allows a different kind of relationship to emerge. One that is quieter, but far more enduring. One that does not rely on constant confirmation, but builds a deep internal sense of knowing.
Over time, this creates space.
Space for grief to move.
Space for meaning to unfold.
Space for love to continue — not as something we chase, but as something we carry.
Where True Connection Resides
And perhaps this is where true connection resides.
Not in the constant search for signs in the outer world,
but in the symbolic life that continues to unfold within.
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ivana@evaessence.com.au
Based in Australia
Connecting you with the spirit world through authentic mediumship. Sharing messages that bring understanding, comfort, and peace of mind.
Connecting you with the spirit world through authentic mediumship. Sharing messages that bring understanding, comfort, and peace of mind.
